Pope Trivia

The morning the last Pope died a few weeks ago, a local fella suggested we have a minute silence. Thinking it was some joke, I broke into laughter. Until, of course, I saw that the fella was quite serious. That was the day I decided to pen this little piece of 'memoria' of the Popes.

I then received 'feedback' from one of the more 'sensitive' ones (exchange at bottom) whose past exchanges with me had been quite 'amazing' to say the least e.g.
http://cckplanetblog.blogspot.com/2001_06_01_cckplanetblog_archive.html

See also comments for subsequent private exchange and see how such people can completely miss the point (in that case, my friend was trying to 'prove me wrong' by saying there was possibly one black Pope from Ethiopia, when I was trying to show something else i.e. it is just another man-made institution exhibiting all the common traits of one).

The other thing was our friend did not bother to check his facts again - I could not find record of a black Pope for the Roman Catholic Church. Again, I had to remind our friend that I was talking about that particular Catholic church, and he should not mix it up with others. (Phew! You see what I mean?)



Trivia Questions:

1. Why is the institution headed by the Pope known as the Roman Catholic Church?
2. How is the Pope selected?
3. How many Popes are there at any one time?
4. How many Popes were white?
5. Who are the Jesuits and why were they once disbanded soon after formation?
6. Is the Pope a celibate?
7. How many Asian Cardinals are there and who decides on that?
8. How long does it take the Vatican to declare that Galileo and Darwin were right and which Pope was behind it?
9. How old is the state of Vatican City?



Trivial Answers:

1. Why is the institution headed by the Pope known as the Roman Catholic Church?

This institution owes its existence to the Romans who were the ‘greatest and most benevolent’ super-power of their time (hey, if not how else would we have known such a great ‘book’). The most prominent players were a Roman emperor called Constantine, and a goyok seller by the name of Paul.

2. How is the Pope selected?

Over time, the Pope was selected in a number of different ways (no one formula is prescribed by the ‘book’ what). If you think that is a sign of Vatican dynamism, read on.

As democracy was not mentioned in the great ‘book’, that was not the selection approach for a long time – may be, this ‘greatest thing’ the world had ever discovered was not known to the Romans (never mind the Greeks were just next door).

So it was left to the heavens to reveal its choice to the world in its ‘own mysterious ways’. But this is a free world to which each enlightened ones read their own unique holy signs. But mostly, all those signs are so holey that the only one method that holds water was the one based on who holds the most swords or guns. And so it was that when the Romans were masters, influential Roman families will ‘compete to put their guy up for the job’ (if it sounds like the Republicans and Democrats, you are not wrong). If you are as powerful as the likes of Napoleon, you can afford to march all the way to Rome and install one of yours (if that sounds like present day Iraq, you are also not incorrect).

If you are desperate but not powerful enough to subdue the other guy trying to do the same, you can always have your own pope. In fact, once there were 4 of these fellas at the same time (installed by 4 different fellas, of course). Can you imagine that? The world having 4-times the holiness – you can’t get enough of those blessings, I tell you!

If you think that lacked class, you can always setup your own church like what the English did. In fact, you can as well re-write the bloody book to suit your needs, like what the English did. (“Who say cannot? Whack you, you know” was how the English got their new church and new set of books)

3. How many Popes are there at any one time?

As many as you like if you dare, or one which is his who is powerful (see 2).

4. How many Popes were white?

All. What do you expect? Go read answers to 1 and 2.

5. Who are the Jesuits and why were they once disbanded soon after formation?

As the Vatican was losing its influence in ‘old Europe’ about 400 years ago (and too many people telling them what to do), the Jesuits were formed by the Vatican to spread its teachings to the newly colonized parts of the world (they called it the ‘new world’). To do that the Jesuits had to firstly include the non-Europeans into the ranks of humans or gentiles in their lingo (how to sell goyok if the new skin cannot stick?) But that position was totally opposite to that of the Spanish and Portugese (the ‘super colonialists’ then) whose justification for widespread extermination of the ‘natives’ was because those ‘natives’ were sub-humans. So those powers pressured the Vatican to disband this group of nuisance and the Pope gave in. (This should be illuminating for pop-era clowns that think the ‘book’ has great positive effects on humans)

6. Is the Pope a celibate?

Depending on the situation: the Pope can be celibate or not (where the ‘book’ said he must be one or the other?) So it depends on how much earthly power the Pope has at that point in time. In medieval times, when they enjoyed relatively greater influence, they were not (hey, who dare ask such questions when the fella is all powerful?) So, we had cases like that of one Pope that had a few illegitimate kids and arranged to have them married to influential Roman families in a sort of ‘gene laundering’. In fact, it was all just about power, money and sex (see also 1, 2 and 3). In fact, some of these fellas would make Clinton look like a saint!

7. How many Asian Cardinals are there and who decides on that?

Depends on when you are talking about. None in Roman times. Either Chinamen were not considered humans (only their later day descendants are so), or they did not exist. Whatever the case, Chinaman cardinals are nowadays appointed by some council controlled by some mainly white men (who are they and who decides they are what they are? You mean you dare to ask? Whack you, you know. OK, let’s be more civilized. Go read 2 above again and go back to your corner.)

Today there are 10 Asians among the 115 cardinals. If this sounds like the ratio of Asian jurists in the war crimes tribunal for Japan’s WWII crimes, it is not a coincidence. Bit players in somebody else’s show.

8. How long does it take the Vatican to declare Galileo & Darwin were right and which Pope was behind it?

The last Pope John Paul II was the one who ‘set the record straight’ by declaring that Galileo was right after all and that the Earth does go round the sun. So the result of 1633’s Roman Inquisition on Galileo was overturned and Galileo was found ‘not guilty’ in 1992 (don’t know what happened lah. May be Galileo was intially crowded out by the others in the Mecca-like frenzies 'to be with Him' but finally got his audience with the Gods and they agreed with him. The Gods then SMS the obviously slower Popes who only got the message after the advent of the handphone. Thank you Motorola, Amen).

John Paul II was also the one who in 1996 said that Darwin’s theory of evolution (published in 1871) was ‘more than a hypothesis’ (hah, this time Darwin took his turn with the Gods much faster than his less fortunate predecessor. May be the Gods figured out the need of a ‘fast lane’ for the ones with brains. Too bad, the other retards dying ‘to be with the Lord’ will just have to wait a little longer).

Please don’t ask how come the Gods don’t just give those damn theories to the Popes (or the popey ones) and let them have the glory and save them all the embarrassments. Hey, the Popes have more important things to do (see 2, 5 & 6) and the Gods work in mysterious ways, okay?

8. How old is the state of Vatican City?

You go find out yourself lah. Everything also must tell you meh?



{Exchange with 'sensitive' one}

Hi CCK,

Once again we are very saddened to receive such an email from you as it is very disrespectful of the Church and in addition showing disrespect to us (Catholics) who we thought you had considered as your friends since we are on your mailing list. I think one should refrain from criticising any religion for that matter. You may find fault with any religion because humans have been appointed by God to bring the faith to other humans and because humans are prone to making mistakes, there will be the inevitable faults. This should nevertheless not detract from the fact that there is a God who created all of us and hence we should show reverence and respect to our creator.

Because of this, I am asking all those who are on your mailing list to pray for a conversion of your heart. Jesus said that we should forgive those who insult us and so we are praying for you the same prayer that Jesus prayed for those who tortured him and nailed him to the cross....Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.....(Luke 23:34)

Also, pls remove us from your mailing list to save us from further insults.

God Bless You
LP


Hi Liang Perng,

I am sorry you took the writing as an insult. It was not meant to be personal. Since that was the way you took it, pls do accept my apology (I still want to be your friend).

I recognise that the way the historical facts were presented was a bit crude but it was nevertheless intended to be light-hearted. I recognise that although it highlighted the fallacies of one man-made institution, the same apply to all man-made institutions of power. We should therefore exercise as much degree of wariness as respect.

The choice of this topic was merely a result of circumstances and had to do with the current publicity around this topic which I felt some people took incorrectly as having universal interest, applicability and truth (pls refer to my original introduction).

I have since re-drafted the historical findings below, and hope you find them more acceptable and enlightening.

Thanks for all your kind wishes too. Following your advice, I will try to be inclusive out of respect for the others: So may the Lord Krishna, Allah, Buddha, Mishtra, Et Cetera Et Cetera Bless Ya (just too many Gods to call upon lah)

Da Da.
CCK


1. Why is the institution headed by the Pope known as the Roman Catholic Church?

This institution owes its existence to the Romans who were the super-power of their time. The most prominent players were a Roman emperor called Constantine, and a great influencer by the name of Paul.


2. How is the Pope selected?

Over time, the Pope was selected in a number of different ways but democracy was not the common approach. But generally, who got to be the Pope was determined by who ruled Rome or Europe. At times when there existed more than one competing powers, there existed multiple candidates co-existing at the same time under the patronage of their own political rulers. Once there were 4 Popes at the same time. Hey, you can imagine how exciting those times can get.

History also recorded that the more powerful rulers like Napoleon always want to have their own candidates installed as Pope - if all else fail, they would do so by sending their armies into Rome.

It may be worthwhile to also note that it was recorded in history that once England decided to setup its own Church when it could not get the Vatican to agree to some of its wishes. It also re-drafted the Bible for the same purpose. It was likely that no one dared do anything about it because England was quite powerful then.


3. How many Popes are there at any one time?

It varies depending on the political situation of the time (see 2).


4. How many Popes were white?

Some Europeans have darker skin than others – so they are not all fully white. But they were all Europeans nevertheless. This is understandable because the Church is a European institution.


5. Who are the Jesuits and why were they once disbanded soon after formation?

As their influence waned for various reasons about 400 years ago, the Jesuits were formed by the Vatican to spread its teachings to the newly colonized parts of the world (they called it the ‘new world’). To do that the Jesuits had to firstly include non-Europeans into the ranks of humans or gentiles (the reason is because the Bible was meant for 'man'). But that position was totally opposite to that of the Spanish and Portugese (the most powerful nations in Europe then) whose justification for widespread extermination of the ‘natives’ was because those ‘natives’ were sub-humans. So those powers pressured the Vatican to disband this group of nice people who tried to go against the powerful Spanish & Portugese, and the Pope gave in. We can understand why that was the case - any human would have done the same under threat of force.


6. Is the Pope a celibate?

Depending on the prevailing situation: the Pope can be celibate or not (the Bible is silent on this). It depends on how much influence the Pope has at that point in time. In medieval times, when they enjoyed relatively greater influence, they were not. In one case, one Pope reportedly had a few illegitimate kids whom he arranged to have married to influential Roman families. Because the institution was not free from human fallacies, the figures involved in this institution (like all other man-made institutions around the world) are not immune to the usual dynamics of human politics: power, money and sex. And what this particular Pope did was understandable. Likely, he was only trying to strengthen the relationship between the Vatican and the various political forces.


7. How many Asian Cardinals are there and who decides on that?

Depends on when you are talking about. None in Roman times. It is best left to individual conjectures why there were no Chinese Cardinals then. For different fully understandable reasons, many people do not want to discuss that.

Today there are 10 Asians among the 115 cardinals. This ratio is very unrepresentative of the number of Asians in the world. May be this is because Asians traditionally play less important roles in the institution or are considered less able to contribute.


8. How long does it take the Vatican to declare Galileo & Darwin were right and which Pope was behind it?

The last Pope John Paul II was the one who ‘set the record straight’ by declaring that Galileo was right after all and that the Earth does go round the sun. So the result of the 1633 Roman Inquisition on Galileo was overturned and Galileo was found ‘not guilty’ in 1992 (we don’t really know what happened. What we do know is that some one realized it was a mistake a long time after it happened. It happens).

John Paul II was also the one who in 1996 said that Darwin’s theory of evolution (published in 1871) was ‘more than a hypothesis’ (history recorded that this delay was much shorter than the other one. We also do not fully understand why that was the case but it happens. It is just humans).

Some people may ask why incidents like above happened, and why the Vatican did not do more thorough and fair investigations before declaring that these bright people were ‘guilty’. We do not fully know why but suffice to say that all man-made institutions are prone to making mistakes, and, like all nice people, we should just accept them as they are.


8. How old is the state of Vatican City?

I suggest you try to find this out yourself. Having some understanding of the history behind all man-made events or institutions can be helpful in putting things in perspective.