Saw a chain mail on 'Why the Chicken Crossed the Road' (see bottom) and decided to contribute a new one with September 11 as backdrop.
Forget about those old chicken stories. We have new chickens on the loose and can start a new set......
BUSH JR.
It's war. No, it's crusade. No, no, I meant it's war against terrorism (sorry papa, I screwed up). They're either with civilisation or they are with terrorism. So they had to cross the road. I call it infinite justice. No, I call it enduring freedom (shit, again!)
BLAIR
We were with them from the beginning and we will cross the road to be with them till the end.
OSAMA
They're either with Islam or they are with arrogance/hegemony. So they crossed. And the storm of chickens shall continue till those other chickens are out of Palestine.
PLO
We do not want to give any chicken any reason for anything....
(PLO tried to stay clear of the whole incident to avoid being linked to/as 'terrorists')
RUSSIA
Those chickens can use my side of the road to launch attacks on chickens on the other side as long as they let my chickens whack other chickens on my side of the road...
(US used to criticise Russian actions against Chechen muslim separatists. Now Russia wants US to support their Chechen actions if the Americans want Russian support in return)
CHINA
We have chickens too and those chickens should not cross anymore roads to whack other chickens.
(China pleaded for restrain, to no avail)
INDIA
We also have chickens on our side of the road and those chickens should help us whack our chickens too.
(India used opportunity to get US support against Kashmiri muslim separatists)
SAUDI
We are not letting any chicken use our coops to fly over any road to get to any chicken on the other side. We think the world should review its road system.
(When they realised the Americans intended to use Sept 11 as excuse to attack Iraq, the Saudis said they will not allow the US to use their bases in Saudi for that purpose)
NATO
We hereby invoke Article 5 of our alliance whereby an attack against one chicken is considered an attack on all chickens.
ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALISTS
Any road that crosses any chicken's path is a crossing to all chickens and shall be considered a Holy Crossing. Then it is the sacred duty of all chickens from all over the world to cross it. (you see any difference between this chicken speak and NATO's chicken talk?)
UN & SINGAPORE
According to the UN Charter and UN Resolution 2468 every chicken have a right to self-defence. So they have a right to cross the road to whack chickens on the other side. What about UN Charter and UN Resolution 1357 on self-determination & sovereignty? They don't apply to some types of chickens.
MUSHARAF
We tried our best to convince those chickens not to cross the road but they did not listen. Now they deserve whatever happens on the other side of the road. For me, I am just chicken all the way.
(Pakistan which supported the Talebans claimed that they tried to convince them not to go against the Americans)
SADDAM HUSSEIN
The mother of all bad chickens had just been whacked by some good chickens that crossed the road, and will soon cross all roads to roast innocent chickens like us. We should come together to build the mother of all roads to stop it from crossing....
(Soon after Sept 11 the US tried to 'link' Iraq in various ways to Osama, and later used those lies as excuses to invade Iraq)
HOWARD
Those chickens whacking chickens shows how dangerous a world we live in. What Australia need is an experienced chicken that knows what to do. That's why we stopped that shipload of chickens from coming in.
Elect me and I make sure no chickens cross over to Australia.
(Australian election took place soon after Sept 11, and after Australia turned away a ship load of refugees from Middle East or Afghanistan)
INDONESIA
It is the chicken's right to cross the road. That's because they think those chickens on the other side whacked their fellow chickens. They have made it known to us that they are only going after those chickens that did it and not all chickens. So we are not taking sides.
(Indonesia was trying to explain why Sept 11 happened)
MALAYSIA
We are not aware of any of our chickens crossing that road. If they have proof that our chickens were involved, they can let us know. We will conduct our own investigations and take the necessary actions.
We have always been tough on chickens crossing roads.
(There were reports saying that some Malaysians have links with perpetrators of Sept 11)
(Original mail received)
To: kianwing.sam@cypress.com.sg, cheng_chee_khiaw@jpmorgan.com, lim_christopher@jpmorgan.com, James_Chong@yahoo.com
Subject: FW: Why the chicken crossed the road....what they all said
Question - Why did the chicken cross the road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.
ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
BILL GATES:
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
MAHATHIR:
You know, I am tired of all this..'apa-nama' chicken-chicken bisnes....the foreign powers should stop intervening in our domestic affairs and just leave our chickens alone..... if they want to...'apa nama' cross the road, they should be allowed to cross the road .. Malaysia is a democratic country, we let our chickens do whatever they want to do.... as long as they don't threaten the Malay unity and try to topple the government...and if they plan to do so...we won't hesitate to use the ISA...
ABDULLAH BADAWI:
Ini semua adalah khabar angin sahaja...jangan percaya khabar - khabar angin ini semua...biasalah ini adalah taktik pembangkang untuk memecah belahkan perpaduan ayam - ayam semua...jangan percaya..jangan percaya....
SAMY VELLU :
ayyooyoo...belakang cerita lain kali, kalu itu ayam mau pigi jalan-jalan,beritau sama saya juga, saya bolley buat lebbey banyak toll........
COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?
BILL CLINTON :
I've had so many chicks, I can't remember...
No comments:
Post a Comment