Conversion and Dedication

Received this mail about 'conversion' from someone and decided to write an equivalent one about 'dedication' (at bottom)


The Conversion

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear, right on top of him: reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!" Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist; and, even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light: "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," the voice said. The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped its right paw... brought both paws together... bowed its head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."



(This is what I sent back to sender of above mail)

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

Voltaire forgot to say that they do the same with parables.
So here's a dedication to your story on 'conversion'.


The Dedication

A Christian was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "father of Christ" had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped over a rifle and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick the rifle up but saw the bear, right on top of him: reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Christian cried out "Oh my God!" Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You worship me for all of these years; teach others about me; and, look down on others who do not believe in me. What do you expect me to do to help you out of this predicament? Did I not ask you to have faith as a believer?"

The Christian looked directly into the light: "It would be hypocritical of me to lose faith in You as a Christian now, but perhaps you could give me another chance to test my faith as a Christian?"

"Very well," the voice said. The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the Christian dropped his rifle, brought both hands together, and with the Christian's head in both paws the bear could hear him say: "Lord, by being made the food of this bear I trust I shall be with you soon in eternal glory. For that I am truly thankful to Thee."