Planning to return to KL early next week. So went to buy new 4G LTE modem from U Mobile as had been planning to pass old 3G modem to 5th uncle over CNY. Had been suggesting to them last year to get a dataline so can have more to do to pass time but suspect they wld not have done so.
1/2/16 MON
Had slow speed problem with new 4G LTE modem since day 1. Fast sometimes and for short while but would hang later. Eliminated 4G network itself since my phone also on U Mobile was fast.
Spent previous few days sorting out slowness problem with U Mobile which changed sim card, asked me to reset modem, told me i didnt settle my bill (just bought!), wait cos high traffic etc. Went modem manufacturer ZTE service centre which claimed modem OK.
2/2/16 TUE
U Mobile tech support finally asked me to connect using usb (i.e. not using wifi) to my pc. Loading was very fast - within 2-3 secnds. U Mobile say that prove their line ok and asked me go back and check modem with ZTE. Agree with them but suspect initially due to priority setting by U Mobile which they fixed (i asked and the service staff confirmed 018 dataline numbers have different priority from phones using 011 range)
3/2/16 WED
Explained to ZTE why sure modem problem per above. They tested on wifi and usb and agreed but said new modem takes a week to arrive from KL. Asked them if can exchange in KL since planning to leave for KL thur or fri but cannot confirm. So told them I wld collect after CNY and went rented house to collect some stuffs.
On way back 4pm mom called to ask when returning cos she wanted to cook soup for me. Told her Friday.
4/2/16 THU
10AM ZTE called to say modem arrived and can collect now. Went to collect and get tool box with allen wrenches needed to re-install writing table from rented house.
8-9PM just installed writing table in mom's room and placed sewing machine on top (thought wld make it convenient for her do sewing) when Tian called to say mom fell and unconscious in KL hospital but could not give more details.
5/2/16 FRI
9-10AM CPY then CPM called to asked where i was. Told them Muar then Nilai.
10.30AM dropped things offf at home and to see condition of house. Saw stain on sofa.
11AM arrived Ampang Hospital Ward 6C. Mom just passed. Touched her and body still warm. Her eyes slightly open so stroke them close.
CPS say blood burst in brain but dont know what actually happened cos mom was alone and already collapsed on sofa with phone on hand when found by CPY 7+PM when she returned from work (very early as normally 10+PM! Same comment later by neighbour Mrs Gan to me). CPS say Mrs Gan said mom was chatting with her around 5PM and may be mom fell as small depresssion on head. Say everyone must go one day, mom dreamt about dad etc so she expecting mom to go anytime! (No wonder no need to find out more about her condition)
Mrs Gan doctor son Ah Kuan came to ward and said record say blood pressure 178 i.e. stage 3 which is very high, massive brain haemorrhage and stroke. Say hypertension most likely cause. Told him that mom used to have high bllod pressure but few months back she said doctor (government clinic at Kampung Pandan) said can stop medicine because pressure OK. Kuan said some medicine cannot stop which was new to me!
Spoke to ward doctor issuing papers on mom body release from ward. CAT scan showed massive haemorrhage n stroke, no fracture in skull so trauma unlikely. If stop medicine must monitor and asked if mom had been doing that. I said i dont know. He said neurosurgeons decided not to operate due to mom's age and extent of her condition.
1PM at home. Mrs Gan came over and said mom was fine when talking to her at 5PM last evening. Mom told her i comjng back fri and CPS ? day (Mrs Gan cld not remember) and mom cooking soup for us. After i told her cause likely because mom stopped taking medicine, she said she told mom that!
2PM Neighbour from no 10 house came to ask where wake will be at and said high blood medicine cannot stop!
Asked CPM and CPS if they knew and they shook heads. So every neighbour knew but not us in family!
2PM Called 2nd aunt with skin cancer to inform her. Since by then I suspect mom (or others in family) must have ignored others info that high blood medicine cannot stop and didnt 'clicked', i started by asking her abt her skin and if she consumed the anti cancer leaves from plant mom and i planted at her home a few months back. She could not even remember we did that which confirmed my point. They just took things for granted and that's on things others did for their own good out of kindness and concern for them!
3.30PM Took pics of dining table where mom was sewing her shirt, prayer table with fresh grapefruit (from our garden) mom placed, carporch with bedsheet mom washed and hung to dry, stained sofa where mom collapsed with phone in hand (CPM said mom shitted and vomitted there and gasping for air)
ISSSUE 1
No one in family REALLY bothered to find out about high blood pressure to know that medicine cannot stop taking, or if aware did not bother to link info to mom and make sure she continued taking! How could it be that so many people knew but none in our family did (during wake, every one I spoke to said same - cannot stop!
No one REALLY cared despite some telling me that parents do not need to deoend on me (see history).
Lessons:
Talk is cheap, watch their actions and results.
Nice words and good intentions are of no use if no knowledge
Everyone's problem is no one's problem
So never rely on others (not even close friends and family) to do things or watch out for you. Self help.
ALWAYS do own research on any big issue or problem one faces. Do not take other people's (esp the 80% type) words as truth or correct.
Above self reliance point is one reason why few years back I told TYL about her 'invisible string' problem and told her to take steps herself to be independent because I can see her mom would not do that for her or until much later (because she was the one that tied the string!). And why on 8/2/16 night after moms funeral, roti prata dinner when all were talking about Tian's consolation prize essay on her mom not letting her go to her grandpa's house I told Tian that some year back I told her mom to let her go out to play basketball etc as that would strengthen character and make her independent. I then turned to TYL and asked if she remembered what I told her years ago she burst into tears.
(I think I know why Tian's mom didn't let her go to her grandpa's house - see Woman Everyone Call Mad http://cckplanetblog.blogspot.my/2012/09/woman-everyone-call-mad.html)
9/2/16 On way to airport with CWL I asked if she knew why TYL cried, she said because she know I was right all those years back. Told CWL that i did that because I wanted TYL and them kids to start on the right journey in life early.
I have established long ago that the girls are quite sharp but not their parents who (like the 80% types I keep stressing) cannot see many things or are uninitiated on many matters or worse know but hide from them. So I had decided that I have to take steps directly to help put them on strong foundation for their future even if I end up being the bad guy. I don't live my life based on what others think of me but on what I think is right.
Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth. Many people especially the ignorant ones want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct or for being years ahead of your time. If you are right and you know it, speak your mind - Mahatma Gandhi
All truths go through 3 stages. First, they are ridiculed. Then violently opposed. Finally they are taken as self evident - Arthur Schopenhofer
Gandhi and Schopenhofer are talking about the same thing i have been trying to convey to kids. The 80% type will laugh or oppose you (whatever way they can) but when most people finally realise and accept something as truth those bastards would just say 'chay, I know already' - self evident...
2012 after dad's funeral I explained to kids that all those rituals were okay but they should not follow any religion and their teachings blindly, and not take for granted that anyone with religious authority or working for it is by default good. In fact, many use religions to control and take advantage of others. CPQ heard that and interjected that not all religious people are bad (which was not my point) and many are good. I asked her then who among the religous group helping at dad's funeral (from Fa Gu San) were good? She retorted all of them are good, she met with them already!
I told her she is a simpleton. She think that by talking to people and hee-hee-ha-ha (casual banter) with them for a few minutes she know their characters. She kept quiet.
Day after dad's funeral, family went to Fa Gu San for meditation. After that, I asked kids to look around place and asked how place like that makes money. Sharp Tian say by selling books (there were shelves with books). Didn't have time to tell them there are more ways like organising meditation sessions, charity drives etc where they ask for 'donations' but who knows where money goes. No time because CPQ came and herded kids off using go home as excuse. At car park, TYL and CLL followed me into my car but CPQ came rushing to my car from another and asked them to go to the other car with excuse she wanted me to drive her to buy stuff. I told her off and not to think I didn't know what she was up to. She didn't want me to talk to kids because she thought I am some devil or nut who would teach the kids wrong stuffs! CPQ retorted and said yes she did that because she did not want me to talk to the kids. I got more mad since she explicitly said that. Told her she has right to tell me she didn't want me to teach her daughter but not with mine!
See how the stupid 80% looks at the world? They can even turn things around and imagine one trying to help them or say tell the truth as the opposite! As result, they may try to 'get back' at the one doing the right thing or telling the truth (see Gandhi and Schopenhofer quotes above)
Which is why I warn about the danger with 80% types but 80% types will never know nor accept they are source of danger or disaster.
That's why I told CWL 9/2/16 morning she should always remember 80/20 rule. What the 80% type (aka simpletons, smart alecs, 'xiao chai' etc) say, think or do - we always take with handful of salt, treat it as red flag and consider the opposite. They will never be able to see things that 20% types see and as result are more likely wrong than right.
ISSUE 2
Dont know when mom stopped taking medicine and who went with her. Or if government doctor told mom to monitor closely but mom didnt get the point etc.
(I admit I did not bother to find out since I was told parents no need to depend on me and mom even implied the same when I complained about being told that)
Lessons:
If have major medical condition, never change medication including doctor, dosage, frequency etc suddenly and without double checking. Change gradually and check for risks of doing so online etc yourself.
Do not trust doctor fully (even doctors 80/20 rule applies). Always get 2nd opinion.
In Malaysia, government clinics are overloaded. So level of care is dubious. In addition, race can be factor (although we are not racist, no guarantee all doctors are not).
ISSUE 3
Mrs Gan told mom but I dont recall her telling me medicine cannot stop. Dont know if she told others or not.
Lessons:
Always repeat good or important advise a few times over and to different persons. Then check to see approprite actions etc are taken. If after that still ignored, then we have done our best.
It is human nature (self, ego) to take others for granted or ignore. Esp those with low awareness and big egos (High Level 1, Low Level 2) because they think with same 1 brain, 1 mouth, 2 eyes what more can others know that is more than them!
ISSUE 4
Why mom didn't react to Mrs Gan's info?
Lessons:
Never take others (esp 20% type) advise, comment or input for granted. Always stop, listen, think and understand the input more. If cannot do immediately, quickly save note in phone, bookmark webpage etc for later follow up.
Sometimes during discussions esp involving many people that your discussion or train of thought gets interrupted and you lose track of important input. That's why must do note taking, book marking etc. Mental bookmarking or noting at least but must be practiced (I know Tian does that as I observed her a few times when others interrupted discussions)
Worse when some bastard 80% smart alecs are involved. They would ridicule (snigger, laugh etc) or throw something totally unrelated into the discussion or input just to show they have something to contribute or to contradict! In their words, to help. That's why in Dec I was so angry with CPS when she interjected with smart alec comment when I was talking to Tian about her future uni studies! CPQ etc then got involved - more smart alecs. Original topic of uni studies lost..
If you tell them off, you become bad guy and they would say you are unreasonable etc (inversion, turn problem around). If you get angry at the for being rude, they say you crazy. That's because they really really cannot see the problem with what they were trying to do because they are 80% type and below Level 2! (see 3 Levels of Human Development http://cckplanetblog.blogspot.my/2012/01/2-pieces-of-paper-for-life.html)
So, beware of benevolent idiots.
Also why I warn the kids to be wary of people that hee-hee-ha-ha (jokers) most of the time. If they spend 80% of their time laughing at things/others, they are either jokers that have nothing serious to talk about (because of ignorance) or, worse, 'experts' in Schopenhofer's stage 1! Over time they get so adept at laughing/ridiculing others that they think they are very smart which reinforces their behavior! In Chinese, I call them 'xiao chai' (smart alecs). Simpletons (the 80%) get impressed by such people - always laugh at others, so must be very clever! (Fool's Theory). 20% type people with knowledge will see through such smart alecs in no time and tell them off. After which, they keep quiet or go elsewhere to look for someone else (other 80% type) to ridicule and impress!
SUMMARY
My view is that if any of the above 4 issues were acted upon, mom would still be alive and live another 5 to 10 years because she was still very alert, active etc and her parents lived well into their 80s. The REAL cause of death was not her condition. Science have solutions for it i.e. the medicine and monitoring device. The cause was no one knew (or bothered to act even if they knew) that close monitoring is required! That's why she did not have a blood pressure measuring machine.
Despite all the nice talk, no one (even mom herself) REALLY cared. Words are cheap. Don't trust them. Watch actions and results. Analyse, think then draw your own conclusion...
Ask this: who bothered to even find out and think about above? If you question them why not, they will tell you that it is water under the bridge (person dead already) etc. so why bother. That is how 80% lead their lives. There is always a smart alec excuse for everything...
Smart alec comment 'fuss over what's past for what? Cannot do anything about it. What's important is be happy!' is used to justify inaction on analysing a problem arising from their inaction or improper action in the first place!
It becomes a cycle of continuous inaction or improper action based on false logic repeated in a circular manner. After some time that cycle becomes their life habit and thus totally involuntary (i.e. they will not be aware of it)
Such Level 1 people will never understand the above. Anyone trying to tell them that will be taken as some nut. Worse, they will commiserate with their same type, reinforce each other and end up being more sure of their fools' perspectives. Their logic: See, I must be right because so many (fools) think the same as me!
Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it - Leo Tolstoy
The nice ones (at least that's what they think) among them may even invert the whole thing around and tell the 20% type trying to wake them up 'why try so hard and put yourself through such suffering? Come, let me teach you how to make peace with your painful life. Go for meditation'
Such benevolent fools should be given some slapping lessons...
The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has limit - Einstein
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