Just joined group at usual prata stall and asked why not try new prata shop that just opened a few doors away. Jokingly said that was difference between 80% and 20% type. CPQ said they are the 20%. Told her that if a simpleton like her is 20% type the world would be in big trouble!
Then handed my Tab S to Tian to read writeup on mom's death and and said the others could not be able to come up with it. Immediately, there were sniggers from TYL's and Tian's fathers. CPS said laughingly 'he spent whole night writing that so better read' (smart alecs)
So reminded Tian about Schopenhofer's quote and to be very careful with people that spend most if their time hee-hee-ha-ha-ing with/at others. Didn't tell her that in fact, smiling bastards who always appear to be nice and smiling to you are the most dangerous bastards because simpletons around them will never suspect them if they do anything bad or nasty and think they are the nicest people around!
I spent time finding out what happened and put my thoughts down for kids to learn and those jokers laughed at it. So reminded Tian about Mark Twain's quote on ingrates.
If you feed a hungry dog and make it prosperous, it will not bite you. That is the principal difference between a dog and man - Mark Twain
Said above reminders apply in all situations - at home, school, work and between countries. Saw Tian sneaking a peek at her father.
Tian's father stood up abruptly and said let's go. Then turned, pointed finger at me as if to say something but didn't and walked off. (I obviously hit some raw nerve there but could not finger which of the 2 reminders that irked him but he must have thought what I said was directed against or applied to him. It is called getting the point)
The rest followed except TYL's father TKM who came over to sit next to me. He put his hand round my shoulder (in 'nice guy manner') and asked why I have to go through so much suffering and pain. Asked how he know I was suffering and in pain. I was only repeating to kids some important life lessons I had been telling them (because what happened above were real life examples of those lessons!) So repeated asking why he thought I was in pain.
He could not answer and then changed tack to say it's the way I said them. I asked if he didn't like the way I said or what I said. He kept quiet so told him to be upfront with what he really wanted to say. Again, hesitated. So told him that his wife told me a few years back that she didn't want me to teach their daughter and if that was what he wanted to tell me. He said yes.
So told him that he was a lying bastard. Pretended to be nice to me, beat around the bush for so long and when I finally cornered him offered the truth. Told him the be a man. CPS who was watching the exchange all the while quickly intervened and pulled him away.
I thought that was quick action - just when I got the thief red handed and about to find out more, out pops a helpful nice bugger! (this was to repeat a few times later on)
They walked home together talking.
When I reached home, I started packing my stuffs to leave (wanted to go to Palladium to check place out and leave for JB before 3pm to avoid CNY jam on PLUS highway). Then found engine oil spilled in boot so spent next half hour or so cleaning up. All the while TKM was sitting in couch next to main door.
About 12 noon. After done cleaning up boot and locking outside gate to leave, he called out to me to say he wanted to talk to me. Asked him what about and not to beat around the bush like earlier because I cannot stand bastards like that. He said about my parents. So asked what about my parents.
He asked why I insulted my parents. To be sure I heard correctly I asked him if he asked why I insulted my parents. Yes. I asked how he came to conclude that I insulted my parents and he better have good answer for me. He frozed for some time so I repeated my earlier point to him not to beat around the bush, be a man and tell me straight.
He told me he was thinking and not to interrupt him.
After a while, instead of giving me reason why he said I insulted my parents, he said 'but you scolded them!' Told him I admit I scolded many mom many times before but each time I have good reason but scolding is not same as insult! Asked him if he scolded his mother before. He kept quiet.
(I cannot remember scolding my dad in the last 20 years of his life. But he was different from mom who would not interject/interrupt others before they can finish speaking. Her brothers were the same! Like the smart alecs I warn kids about, they 'chay' others very quickly. I realized that long ago.
When we were young, parents would get into arguments all the time and the kids would end up on mom's side because she was quite manipulative - she cries like the end of the world, say would take her own life etc - to get the our sympathy. We being kids then would 'buy' it and get to her side! I now know how dad would have felt then.
By university time I realized that dad was a very sharp man and a gentleman. Many things he said to me when younger I realized were very sharp or true. Over the years he indirectly also taught we one thing about gratefulness.
On trips back to Taiping over the years, he would bring me to go look for an old man whom he kept telling me was a gentleman. Initially I was too young to understand but years later I got it. When his dad died and my dad was too young and helpless, that man helped his family with all funeral arrangements and took dad 'under his wings'. So decades later whenever we went to Taiping dad would look him up and ask him out for meal and drinks but dad said that old man would refuse his offer to pay. Dad meant to say that he was grateful to that man for what he did for him when young and all dad wanted to do was to repay that gratitude a bit but that old man refused to accept even a drink! Thus a gentleman in dad's eyes.
Mom was different. After uni, I realized she was a simpleton that throws out whatever came to mind whenever she loses an argument or could not provide a good answer! (diversion, inversion). The last decade or so, I kept telling her not to do that, that was why she kept arguing with dad when we were young and her old trick would not work with me anymore because I had seen through her. Mom would still not get what I said and continue with her standard formula: try to divert or invert, if fail cry and accuse me of scolding her! Which would not get any sympathy from me. Instead, I would keep telling her that she was deploying her standard trick again but she would still not get it.
That's the problem and danger with such people - not aware of their own behavior despite being repeatedly told of it by others. Repeat and repeat but smart alec still thinks she was right and thus not just ignore what I tried to tell her but would turn it around and throw anything she could think of.
Her brothers were the same! They are always quick to interrupt others, 'chay' what others say, contradict or throw smart alec comments before others could even complete their sentences. I observed it so many times that I have concluded it was genetic and those old smart alecs would never change.)
By then TKM's baseless accusation had gotten to me. Then told him that he is a bastard because he accused me of insulting my parents but could not explain how, when etc. All he could do was accuse me of insulting my parents because I scolded them. I don't accuse him of insulting his parents because he scolded them but he was bastard enough to do that to me!
Now he is a worse bastard than I thought an hour earlier at prata stall. Bastard 2 times over!
Told him that I have long established he and the others are simpleton 80% types I tell the kids to be wary off - people who would jump to wrong conclusions and therefore screw things up but still full of themselves. I was willing to sit down with him only because he asked me for a talk and I gave him the benefit of doubt because he was not around in Malaysia to know what happened over the years but he just proved what I know to be his character already.
He just broke into loud laughter! So told him I don't laugh at what he says, not even his baseless accusation, and he was laughing because I was spot on - it was the truth and as Schopenhofer observed all truths are firstly ridiculed (laughed at).
CPS who was quietly sitting nearby listening to whole exchange started interjecting with some comment about facing up to reality and I told her not to interrupt the discussion. But she continued and I just ignored her.
I then asked him if he has anything else to talk about. He said yes so told him to be careful with what he says. This time he was more careful and, instead of accusing me, asked if I blamed my divorce on parents. I said no and asked why did he think so. Again, no answer which again pissed me off. He came up with another thing which he could not offer basis again! Bastard. (I suspect he realised that already but still went ahead and asked because it was not really his idea but some one planted for him and he was just 'caught holding the ball'. The question is who is the real devil).
Again, CPS kept interjecting with some comments about me afraid to face reality which irked me. So told her to buzz off as I was talking to another person not her. Fucking rude!
Then he asked if divorce affected me. Of course, I said (only an idiot would think otherwise or see need to ask). In what way he asked. Told him after that I woke up, was no more a simple happy go luck fella and would take action if I see a problem.
CPS again interjected and asked how I define a problem and success etc. Told that idiot not to interrupt again but she kept on repeating her various comments.
So I looked at TKM and told him that he held me back because he wanted to ask me things and I was nice enough to oblige but that idiot keeps interrupting the conversation. So is he going to do something about it? That bastard just grinned and said no.
Knowing that on top of that, his thoughts were probably messed up by then. So tried to help him justify why he should not sit on his hands with below:
"You invited me to talk to you and I obliged. When I interrupted you, you asked me not to interrupt. You set a house rule which I obliged. Now, I have an idiot that keeps interrupting me as I am speaking to you and I expect you to have the decency to help me out but instead you tell me you are not going to do anything about it? Come on, be a man!"
Bugger still insist he won't do anything. (I suspect he could not think clearly by then and CPS interruption was a relief to the embarrassing situation he found himself in. Thus he didn't find it disruptive but life saving instead!)
I said OK then and asked if he still have anything else. He said yes so told him that I have by then established that he is a bastard 3 times over and he better not fuck around with me anymore. By then he was really dumbfounded and just sat there and stared at me. (I suspect his thinking was by then in a mess because whatever he threw at me didn't stick and his collection of bastard X times over points were building up)
So I asked how he can say he has more to ask me but does not have next question ready at hand! How can one call for a meeting but cannot remember agenda? If one has a big enough problem with his car he should be able to tell the mechanic straight away!
I meant to say if he thought I have a major problem he should be able to articulate it immediately. So he was obviously just trying to come up with something to stick on me (inversion is typical 80% type trick - if 2 cannot stick, try others!) and save his face.
He kept telling me not to interrupt him as he was thinking. So I kept quiet and waited.
Minutes passed and I was stupefied. Told him that that was not how real world meetings work. If he makes others wait so long in meeting while he thinks about it, in real world he would get fucked well and good! No wonder he needs to go for meditation! No need to think!
In meantime, CPS continued bombarding me with her challenges (cannot face reality, how I define problem and success etc. Told her to better stop before I slap her for being so fucking rude.
Repeated the above "you invited me to talk to you, you set house rule of no interruption, now someone else interrupting me... are you man enough to do something" question. Again, no with grin.
Almost 20 minutes later, he finally started on his next 'inquisition' item and asked if I remembered dad's funeral when I told him about my cousin's daughter's family problem (around 2010/2011). I told him that that has nothing to do with what I thought was his agenda which was my problems with my parents. Anyway, since I spoke to CPS and CPM at mom's wake 2 days ago about it, they know the details and he can go ask them and not waste my time.
Don't try to fish around, I told him (he obviously had the topic in mind already except that he needed that 20 minutes to figure out how to stick a knife into me and make it stick)
He insisted that it has to do with me. So asked him in what way. He said I was 'complaining' about other people's family and somehow bring my 'pain' to and bothered that family meaning at the least probably I should not have gotten involved or, worse, I was trying to stir up trouble. Again, that smart alec observation irked me. Since I was not interested in 'arguing' over things with one I already established to be a bastard, I didn't get to clarify which was it and just assumed he meant I was being a busy body. But even that attitude is signature 80% type - why bother about other people? go mountain and meditate!
So told him that that's how 80% type people like him look at the world but that is not how I look at it. If I can see something wrong ahead of time, I take immediate action like the 'invisible string' problem I spotted years ago with her daughter. Asked if he knew of that invisible string, he said no.
In my cousin's case, I could see what was coming, warned 3 different members of that family and told them what to do otherwise that family would be destroyed. Now 5 years later, CPS told me 2 days ago what I feared then would happen. I could do that but 80% type like him will not understand it so don't waste my time.
[2 days ago CPS said could not contact that cousin and when she and mom met him last year he said something about daughter selling their apartment and CPS thinks her marriage was breaking up. I told her I already saw that coming 5 years ago!
Once in Singapore, spoke to taxi driver about water dispute between Malaysia and Singapore, Singapore government was being bastard by refusing to raise rates per Malaysia's request and Singaporeans should do what's right and not keep quiet. Taxi driver asked why I bothered. Told him if he tell me why bother when his daughter is being raped then I say he 'liao de qi'. Bugger kept quiet after that]
I stood up to leave but he said he was not done yet. Told him I cannot have open-ended session with him. He need to set an end time. He said 3.30pm. I said OK, next.
He asked how about the house renovation. I said I already told mom a year ago that I won't have anything to do with it! Told him about being told my parents don't need to depend on me, have money where got 'liao bu qi', many incidents of inaction and lame excuses etc. that nothing will be done. In fact, told mom that until day she dies nothing will be done! (Bastard raise issue with me after knowing I had issue with those idiots for so many years and after mom is dead! Bastard)
Said I offered to pay for renovation long time ago but CPY has all sorts of excuse not to do anything, not even look at the many plans I drew up over more than 10 years. He then told me what CPS (smart alec) told me last year: since you paying for it, why don't you handle everything?
Told him of course I can and gave him this analogy: If I offer to give your mother a treat, you can tell me why not feed her and later wipe her arse too. Why cannot? Can...
I then asked 'by your thinking, since I offered to pay for reno but did not handle everything then I was a bastard right?" Suspecting a trap, he kept quiet. So told him that the answer was either yes or no, so be a man and tell me if I was a bastard. After repeating that challenge a few times he finally said yes! (bastard could not even make simple decision nor see what was coming)
I said well then we established that one is a bastard if one only offered to pay but not handle everything. Now let me ask you this: did you and wife offer to pay anything at all? Quiet. So now I establish that you are a greater bastard than me, right?
Continued with the analogy above to him (he obviously could not get it earlier): If I offer to treat your mother to a meal and you ask me to feed her and later wipe her arse, I'd slap you! You bastard 4 times over!
CPS realized I was also scolding her as well because she told me the same thing last year and her rude interruption got much louder (also she got more brazen because no one did anything all the while). By then, she was standing in between me and TYL's father and gesturing all over. So I got up and gave her a slap. TKM got up and put me in a strangle hold! I was surprised somewhat by that (bastard said nothing to do with him earlier but now when I finally took action it then he gets involved!) but quickly realized what was happening. So after he released the stranglehold, I told him that I have a point to make to him.
He knew full well that CPS rude interruptions were getting louder and louder and more and more to the face, he could see she was not heeding my telling her off and sooner or later I would take action as I said but he refused to help out and waited for me to act. Then he come out and act 'hero' by strangle holding me.
He knew full well how it would end and yet refused to intervene until it was too late. So told him he was a fucking bastard 5 times over!
Then asked if he has anything else to ask on my family. No. I said in that case since we established that he had no basis for saying I insulted my parents, blamed divorce on them etc. he should do the decent thing and help sort it out with whoever else were saying those things. He said no, why should he!
So I thought what a fucking bastard. Bastard more than 5 times over! Stood up to leave.
But he said not 3.15pm yet and he was not done yet (bastard expect me to keep my agreement and decency after all that shit).
His next issue was what I thought about 1MDB! Told him it has nothing to do with discussion and if he asked because he thought I could not do anything about it since I said I would do something if I see something is not right. He said yes. So to him it is just plunder, there are things I can do indirectly and gave him Louis Armstrong's quote - If you have to ask, you aint ever gonna know.
(Bastard who just told me why I bothered to get involved with my cousin's family and does not deem it necessary to get involved with CPS rude interruptions suddenly got interested with 1MDB which had nothing to do with my family, his nor the purpose of the talk! Fucker cannot even apply his own freakin principle on himself within span of a couple of hours!)
With no more to talk about me and my family he told me he has something to tell me.
Said he scolded his mother in front of his friends when she cried in front of them during an outing in Australia. Said he regretted it and started sobbing. I asked him what he expect me to do? He said he just wanted me to hear him out.
Fucking bastard not man enough to even do the decent thing on all those shit now wanted me to do nothing and hear him out!
Asked him why he scolded her and why she cried, he didn't answer the latter. Only he said felt she embarrassed him in front of friends and did not appreciate his effort arranging outing. Not sure what his purpose was, I told him I was not going to say he insulted his mother because he scolded her even though he said I insulted mine because I scolded them. He repeated he wanted me to hear him out only (may be he felt guilty accusing me of insulting my parents earlier and wanted to admit he also scolded his mom)
Then told me about his stay with his grandma when young and being used as leverage against his father by her etc. Sobbed most of the way.
At 3.40pm I said times up, I could not do anything about his personal story and walked off.
Almost 4 hours but it was good that he talked to me. All the while I thought those bastards were just saying I was a mad bugger always scolding people including my parents but now I know it was worse than that. Those bastards were worse devils than I thought.
Given that TKM froze and took so long to articulate his thoughts it is very likely he was not the originator of those accusations. He was only the one trying or offered to stick it to me openly. The question is who is/are the lead bastard(s)...
My suspicion: top lead is the bitch that was listening in the background and kept interrupting me whenever I try to nail TKM with a new 'bastard-point'. As I have been telling the kids, that's what thieves do when they are about to be caught - divert and invert.
So who is the REAL more-than-5-times-over bastard?
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing. - Theodore Roosevelt
Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it - Augustine of Hippo
